I would never have called myself a perfectionist. Certainly, nobody would ever call me ‘detail-oriented’. I would lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on.
In fact, I think a lot of what is ‘good’ about my art is in the lack of concern about perfection.
Still, I had to learn that this was okay. I had to learn that something could have flaws and be ‘perfect’.
Before I started writing songs in earnest, I was unable to write songs at all, for fear that I would write something ‘bad’ and look ‘stupid’.
In fact, this is a form of perfectionism.
I wanted to write great songs. I had a feeling I could write a great song. But when I tried, I would write things I didn’t like.
I ended up with tons of half-finished, almost finished, or barely started songs.
Don’t get too grand
Here are two sentences from The Artist’s Way that I think about all the time:
“The need to be a great artist makes it hard to be an artist.”
“The need to produce a great work of art makes it hard to produce any art at all.”
-Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way
In order to make anything at all, we need to be capable of finishing things.
We need to be capable of finishing something that is ‘bad’, in order to finish something that is ‘good’.
We need to be able to make something we don’t like, in order to make something that we do like.
To do this, we need to be kind to ourselves. We need to let ourselves practice.
Practice does not make perfect. It makes progress.
What I have now, is an artistic practice.
I make a distinction between my career as an artist and my artistic practice.
My artistic practice is something that is just for me. It’s personal.
I would practice art no matter what my career looked like. Just like I practice meditation and practice yoga.
Procrastination is not laziness
If you are struggling to create things you like or struggling to create anything at all, you may say you’re prone to procrastination.
You may say that you are lazy.
You are not lazy.
When I was starting to get serious about music and playing piano - around 17 or so - I would beat myself up for not practicing enough, for practicing inefficiently, for not being ‘good enough’.
I felt I was being lazy. I thought maybe this was just how I was.
I know now that I am not a lazy person. I was fearful. I was spending my energy on comparison, jealousy, regret.
Procrastination is not laziness, it is a fear. Fear of failure, or fear of success.
I was not being kind to myself.
Baby steps, little BG.
Finding it hard to begin does not mean you won’t be able to do it. You can absolutely do it. You may just need help.
Being nice to yourself
First, you need to help yourself.
Allow yourself to start small. Finish one poem. Finish one song (it can be short). Make a very small painting. A 15 second animation.
Second, you are not allowed to compare your first step to someone else’s masterwork.
Your first short film is not going to be a Wes Anderson classic. Your first song is not going to be ‘Hallelujah’. That’s just a cruel thing to do to your artist self.
Third, you will reward yourself for taking these steps and finishing them. A little treat goes a long way.
Let yourself be encouraged
Having supportive friends is an incredible help.
I won’t send a work in progress to just anyone - I have friends that I can count on to give me positive feedback no matter what.
They rarely criticize, and if they do it is the helpful kind of criticism that makes me go ‘Aha! That is a great idea!’.
Know that it is okay to ask for what you need.
When I send my music or something I have made to people I’m working with, I will specify:
“I am not looking for criticism or feedback right now.”
or
“I am looking for feedback on this one - what do you think?”
Of course, I had to learn this the hard way - I sent someone a work in progress and had them tell me “I don’t think this is worth pursuing”.
That stung, big time. I also knew they were wrong. So I finished the project, presented it, they loved it, and I learned a valuable lesson.
Have a little faith
Faith is hard fought.
You need to have faith that if you make something you don’t like, you will eventually make something you do like.
Everyone, no matter how experienced, goes through dry spells, droughts, periods of difficulty in their practice. Still, we press on.
I have (almost) completely let go of the fear that the song I just wrote will be the last one I ever write. So far, I’ve been proven wrong every time I have worried about that.
Looking at creating art as practice has allowed for greater faith.
I have practiced finishing things. I have practiced letting go. I have practiced editing. I have practiced making decisions and committing to them. I have practiced failing, and then practiced trying again. I’m still practicing!
There are so many smaller skills within the larger skill of creating things. Give yourself time, love, and compassion. Treat yourself as a friend.
“I shall become a master in this art only after a great deal of practice”
-Erich Fromm
My latest bit of practice. I’ve been getting up early and writing. Sometimes it doesn’t lead anywhere, sometimes you sit down and write a whole song in an hour. This is one of those.
This week in Boy Golden
The first single from For Eden comes out on April 10th. It is called ‘Here To Stay’. I will be sending another email about that on Wednesday.
Thank you for this one! This line stuck out to me "I was spending my energy on comparison, jealousy, regret." It's so unfortunate how much there is compare ourselves to, to be jealous about, and regret with social media. It's opened up worlds but in that opening it can leave you feeling so overwhelmed that you feel unmotivated to start anything.
But as you said, compassion, community, and faith in the process.
My partner has been making her way through The Artist's Way and introduce me to it and I have thought for some time that I should give it a read.
"The need to be a great artist makes it hard to be an artist.” That hit!
Cheers to more compassion, community, and faith in the artistic practice.
You’ve taught me a lot and you’re still teaching me Mr. BG. I’m writing more than I ever have and I’ve never wanted to write more in my life. It’s not about musical inspiration, so much as it is creative inspiration. The inspiration that gives the drive to create. You’re a huge part of that and I can’t thank you enough!